Getting laid...off

I've taken a bit of a break from blogging because, well, life has given me a few hurdles. I went back home to Virginia for a week over the Memorial Day holiday. I figured 3 and ½ months after my move would be a good time to get a taste of home and to tell everyone how much I love California. Well, my trip to Virginia ended up being a bit different than planned.

So I left for Virginia with:

*A Tan

*Enough clothes for a week

*A job

I returned to California with:

*A panini maker

*400 Fish oil tablets

*Way too many pictures of my cat

*A Crown on my tooth

*No job

*Apprehension about the future

In a way, the beginning of my trip was so depressing that it was kind of comical. I had known for a week prior to leaving that there was a possibility that I would get laid off. Mentally I was prepared for it but the reality of being unemployed after just moving across the country was a bit unsettling. Here's the kicker--I received a call on the Monday night of my holiday with the news (Happy Memorial Day?).

To top it all off, I had a sudden and horrible toothache that day so I went into the Dentist on Tuesday morning and was told that I would need to get a root canal. Seriously, was the God I don't believe in unleashing some sort of wrath on me? With my insurance only lasting 3 more days, I had an emergency root canal done on Wednesday. I had something which was supposed to be done in four visits done in one sitting. The dentist's office told me I had a record for how long I was sitting in the chair. I guess you can call that a silver lining.

So after the demoralization of being laid off, the physical pain of going through a root canal and the financial pain of having to pay an unexpected $600 for the root canal, I can't say that I was in the best of spirits early in the week. But after having the re-charge of seeing my good friends and spending time with my extremely supportive family, my perspective on the situation turned quite positive. I will be working for the rest of my life, this time of unemployment is just an opportunity for me truly relax and re-charge and strategically plan my next steps for a career change. The only thing I know for certain, I want to stay in Southern California.

What has been most overwhelming about the whole situation is how supportive and willing to help everyone has been. My former colleagues were exteremely supportive and had such positive feedback and kind things to say to me. With a very limited professional network in LA, I have really had to reach out to everyone I know to put me in touch with people that they know in LA. I've had some success professionally that way and in the least have been making more connections and more friends through the experience.

While being laid off was less than ideal, I'm glad I used my former job as a vehicle to bring me out to California. I don't think I would have done it otherwise. I always tell myself that life could be a lot worse. Afterall, its summer, I live in a wonderful and fun community, and this is what I see every day:  

  

You mean not everyone here is a Lakers fan?

Before I moved to LA my friend John told me that I should be a Clippers fan and outlined several reasons why I should like the Clippers over the Lakers. My response to him was “The Clippers are an NBA team?” Clearly I don't watch that many NBA games but I guess I just assumed everyone in LA was a Lakers fan. Everyone isn't...and its not only because Lamar Odom is gone. 

Much like DC, LA is a city full of transplants who came to pursue their dreams, bringing with them identities of from their home to add to the larger identity of the city. However, the size of LA lends to what seems like a series of suburbs and sub-identities as opposed to a collective identity. This came across most clearly to me through discovering people's sports loyalties. There are a number of franchises which are trying to capitalize on the huge potential market of LA and its surroundings. These competing franchises (Lakers/Clippers, Dodgers/Angels) and the void left by no current NFL team, seem to magnify a lack of collective sports culture for LA and ultimately a lack of city wide identity. I'm not saying LA doesn't have an identity, quite the opposite, but “Los Angeles” seems to just be an umbrella term for a wide range of smaller sub-identities.

In DC, Maryland and Virginia (aside from the transplants—and there are a lot of them with quite strong sports loyalties) most everyone is a Capitals fan, most everyone is a Redskins fan (except for that one random Cowboys fan everyone knows), most everyone is a Nationals fan (except for the old school Orioles fans), and everyone just wishes the Washington Wizards would just go back to being the Washington Bullets. There's a collective sense of identity, from the Virginia and Maryland suburbs to the inner city, which really seems to bring the area together. Or more accurately gives reason for people to mourn together after losses...

But, when the Redskins win, people in DC are immediately happier, customer service is better, people tend to smile more, spirits are lifted! I don't feel like there is a city-wide equivalent here but there are pockets of it. That isn't a bad thing, its just different.

On a personal level, the Washington Capitals 2011/2012 season ended last night so I now have to turn my attention to my adopted LA team. The LA Kings have made advancing in the playoffs look easy, only losing one game in the first two rounds of playoffs. (I happened to be at the one game they lost to the Canucks—I take this as a sign that I am bad luck.) I never thought of LA as a hockey city but I have met some enthusiastic and loyal fans which I think is an example of these pocketed identities. So I'm jumping on the bandwagon and I'm happy to take on a new identity as a Kings fan. Second only to the Capitals of course.  

Don't Trust a Bro

Please excuse my reference to a 3oh3 song as I hate those guys. I also promise that my next post will be more lighthearted.

In my last post I introduced the concept of a Southbay Bro. As I've been hanging out in the Southbay a fair amount, I have come across a few of these. So I guess mine is a normal girl meets bro story. Bro and girl get along pretty well. They joke around, they flirt, the usual. Bro regales girl with compliments about how beautiful, funny, intelligent and great she is(all of this is true, of course).  Except there are a few hurdles, twists and turns which make this story a hot mess.

In the past 3 weeks I've found myself involved in more drama than I would usually ever care for. Those who know me well know that I avoid conflict at most costs. I tend to look at things from a level headed perspective and when needed act as a mediator in conflict, rarely, if ever, being the cause.  When I found myself in the middle of a circle of drama, I started to wonder if life in California has already started to change me. Was I suddenly more prone to drama just by being in a new place?

I just recently turned 25 and this birthday was the first in a long time that I was cognizant about how different I felt. I'm no longer part of the 18-24 “young people” demographic bracket and its like a slap in the face.  I'm not the same rambunctious 21 year old I used to be. Now when 21 year olds try to hit on me at bars I feel like I need to ask for their guardian's signature before talking to them. My previous youthful sense of carelessness has turned into caring more about the future and the long-term. At 25 I feel like I have a stronger sense of clarity than I did before. I obviously have a lot to learn but feel like I generally know who I am and have an idea of where I want to end up.

This same mentality has translated into my dating life. I haven't gotten more careless, I've gotten more careful. I am afterall a beautiful, funny, intelligent and great person and I know what I deserve. But the aftermath of this incident has left me feeling like I was too careless and let my levelheadedness fall by the wayside.

I said in my first post I came to California because I wanted to be thrown into a sense of uncertainty. I wanted to have chaos in my life. Not having the comfort of leaning on people who I know and who know me well, I wanted the challenge of finding new friends and navigating a new terrain to find people who are equally as awesome as the friends I have made in life thus far. Well I wanted chaos and that is what I got. Ultimately I'm happy here. Shit happens and people make mistakes. Its certainly not the first time I've been hurt and it probably won't be the last. It's all part of the adventure and while it was a less than desirable situation which threw a wrench in my happy and peaceful life in California, I believe that it will only lead to more clarity about the type of people I want to surround myself with. I know I've found some of those people here on the west coast and I hope that we will continue to be friends.

I know eventually I'll look back on my first 2 and a ½ months(I can't believe it has only been this long) in California and laugh. But in the meantime—blame the bro and his carelessness. Blame the bro for thinking he can do what he wants and just talk his way out of it. His brotocol is brocially unacceptable.


I think its too soon to tell what the overall moral of the story is but when you hang around the Southbay, you can save yourself a lot of trouble by following one simple rule: Don't trust a bro.

Are you a lumberjack? Are you a hipster? What are you?!

So until I have time to write about something more meaningful I figured I would touch upon something I noticed about the Southbay.

It seems that flannel/plaid is one fashion which is still going strong in Southern California. Night after night, weekend or weekday, I have noticed an alarming percentage (it has to be around 50%) of men wearing these styles. When I think of either of these checkered patterns I only think of them in two contexts:

1. Lumberjacks
2. Hipsters

Allow me to demonstrate the difference: 

Lumberjacks: Often large bearded men identifiable by their manliness, their profession and the axe they are carrying. Think-The Brawny Man: 

Hipsters- Men who are also often bearded but lack a certain aspect of manliness because of their tight pants, thick rimmed glasses and inherent attitude of thinking that they are more enlightened than you because they watch TED talks, drink PBR and listen to all the best bands before you do.  

However, the strange thing is, Men (or boys) of the Southbay seem to fall into neither of these segments nor are they some hybrid breed of lumberjack-hipsters (hipster-jacks?). They are mostly normal guys(future post about Southbay "bros" to come) who just have flannel/plaid as a go-to fashion. It just struck me, I feel like LA never left the 90's....and maybe it never did. Afterall, Sizzler is still going strong here too. 

Why be inside...

....when you can be outside? Seriously, I know its obvious that weather here is beautiful but its crazy how much my lifestyle, at least on the weekends, has changed in such a short time. I have spent more time at the beach in the past 3 weeks than I have in the past 3 years.  For those who live by the beach, it seems like a shame to waste sunny and beautiful weather. I sometimes even have trouble telling who is homeless and who just likes to spend all their time outside. At least at Venice beach this gets a little bit difficult to discern.

Last sunday I met some coworkers for day drinking at some bars in Manhattan beach. A ritzy beach side town which has a mix of college like bars, irish pubs, dives, and lounges. (Sidebar: Manhattan beach was also recently rated by CNN Money as the best place to find rich and single people. Interestingly enough, number 2 is my former home, Tysons Corner, VA. I never met any potential suitors while working in Tysons or getting my shop on at the mall so I don't know how accurate that is. But if I don't end up marrying rich after living/working/hanging out in the top two places to find rich and single people, then there probably is something wrong with me. Or rich people suck and don't know how to appreciate a witty, upbeat yet cynical, cat-loving brunette.)

Manhattan Beach Pier

Anyways I drove to meet up with my co-workers(don't worry mom, I didn't drink too much) but pretty much everyone else biked from their houses to the bar. Free parking and no hassle of having to operate a motorized vehicle. Even going drinking means being active! And as sunday fundays seem like a regular occurence, it seems that I will have to invest in a bike...and probably a helmet.

This past weekend was the epitome of what I want my time in California to be: active yet relaxing. Saturday I woke up early and went for a nice 5 mile run along the beach to Marina del Rey. I got back from my run and my roommate asked me if I wanted to play beach volleyball with her and a few of her co-workers. Despite my obvious lack of volleyball skill it was really fun, and I actually felt like beach volleyball is something I could do on a normal basis. After a couple hours of volleyball we lounged on the beach near Santa Monica for a bit. Unaware of the strength of the winter sun (uhh yes, technically it is still winter), I actually got quite sunburnt.

Sunday I went with one of my high school friends and her friends to lounge at the beach. Our original plan to go to Malibu for a few hours and hang by the beach and then go for a hike was foiled by the horrible traffic on the Pacific Coast Highway as a result of it being the first really warm weekend. Luckily coast is not hard to come by here in California.  We stayed until the sun started to go down...and more importantly we started to get hungry. Over the course of the day we also saw Kim Kardashian, Ziggy Marley, Justin Bobby and Zach Galifinakas. Not really, but we did see people who looked like all of them.

Will Rogers State Beach

Of course though, I have not been spending all of my time outside. Aside from working, I have also been out with friends and coworkers quite a bit. Between celebrations, pub trivia and concerts I've kept myself busy. Last wednesday I went with a couple of coworkers to the Echo to see a pretty decent band named Reptar. Going to more concerts is definitely something I want to do while I am here.

Reptar at the Echo-February 29, 2012. 

So that has been my past few weeks. I don't know if it feels like home yet, but I am lucky to have some awesome scenery and some awesome people in my life here.

Settling In

Well my first week consisted of running around like a crazy person. So much so that I ended up drinking an entire bottle of wine on monday night just because...well, I needed it. I decided not to take any time off of work and jump right in. It was a really busy and stressful week with a lot going on at work but I am very happy to be here. I spent most of my evenings finding furniture for my room and trying to find a car. I was extremely lucky and found some great (and cheap!) furniture thanks to Craigslist and my parents are helping me out with the car situation by having my beloved Honda Accord shipped out to LA. 

This weekend I had the chance to see some family and old friends. Driving around in the past 2 days I think I have been on every single freeway in the Los Angeles area and surprisingly feel completely comfortable driving here. Maybe the Mixing Bowl death trap in DC won't seem so intimidating anymore.

Some of you have asked about pictures of my place so here you go...enjoy!

View from my living room

Entering my apartment complex

Front Door

My room

Giant closet=essential

Living room

Kitchen

living room

In between El Segundo and Playa del Rey...running on the beach path

Westward Bound

Disclaimer: This blog is not about an Asian girl moving to America. This post is also much longer than what I foresee most posts being...

I've got a one way ticket from DC to LA in a few hours and I'm not really sure what to expect. I talked with some of my friends and decided I wanted to keep a blog about my time there. Mostly to keep people posted about my life, to keep track of interesting and funny things I come across and cultural differences or similarities between the East Coast and the West Coast. Oh yeah, and to make people jealous with pictures of the beach.

So when people ask me why I'm moving to LA I generally give one of two answers:

1. To break through in the adult entertainment industry;
2. Because my company happens to be based there and I just want to be closer to the beach.

The first has absolutely no truth to it(although you'd be surprised how many people take me seriously). The second is true but doesn't completely explain my desire to move. My professional development and my goal to be a part time beach bum are more peripheral reasons. So why does an east coast girl like me want to move out west?

I have been in the DC area for nearly 25 years. I was born in Northern Virginia, grew up there, went to college and grad school in DC and spent my first 1 and ½ years in the working world in the Virginia suburbs. I have started to notice more and more that I am a Washingtonian at my core. Like so many others in DC I speak about my graduate degree and use vague and generic terms to describe my job as an analyst. I talk about my time interning at the Australian Embassy, how the caps will definitely win the Stanley Cup one year, finding a new boozy brunch spot, hitting up a bar on U street, or how the DC Metro should increase advertising instead of raising fares yet again. There's no denying it, I am a Washingtonian for better or for worse.

While I've always had a fascination with California, I never though LA would be a city I would want to live in (how could I even compare to all the models and beautiful people there??) Up until about a year ago my conception of Los Angeles was limited and narrow. I imagined most to be like the vapid, do-anything-to-get-famous crew on “The Hills.” But it was about a year ago that someone who used to live in LA said to me “yeah that crowd of people definitely exists but it is a huge city full of people with a wide range of interests.” And it hit me, I myself was judging an entire city from the very superficial lens that I was ascribing to the people of the city. Was I no better than Heidi Montag, Audrina Patridge and Kristin Cavallari? And why the hell did I watch “The Hills” so much?

When I thought about it LA is similar to one of my favorite cities in the world: Sydney. I studied in Sydney for six months and I didn't live in the city itself but in the eastern suburbs right by the beach. I loved the mix of beach and city. It was laid back and beautiful but bustling and exciting. The best of both worlds. So when I finished my masters degree this past year I started to seriously consider living in another city. Because my company is based there, LA seemed like the obvious choice.

Ultimately though, I think I am moving to LA as a challenge to myself. I feel too comfortable in DC. I know, a first world problem. But it comes down to psychology and Maslow: my hierarchy of needs have been mostly met but I am starting to realize that I need to self-actualize. Maybe its because I saw the ghost of Maslow himself or maybe it is because I decided that the Virginia suburbs are not where I want to be at 24. I love DC and Virginia and have loved my time here. I have made so many friends in the process and will forever consider DC my home and “my city.” But I don't want to be complacent. I want to be thrown into a sense of uncertainty, it always makes life more interesting and ultimately I think it makes me more interesting. I guess like those who travelled west in the early days of America in the midst of uncertainty, I want to be part of the westward expansion. So even if it is 2012 and the West is already quite densely populated and the gold rush is long over, it is time for me to settle the West.  

(The Getty Museum, Los Angeles, August 2011)