Thursday, May 3, 2012

Don't Trust a Bro

Please excuse my reference to a 3oh3 song as I hate those guys. I also promise that my next post will be more lighthearted.

In my last post I introduced the concept of a Southbay Bro. As I've been hanging out in the Southbay a fair amount, I have come across a few of these. So I guess mine is a normal girl meets bro story. Bro and girl get along pretty well. They joke around, they flirt, the usual. Bro regales girl with compliments about how beautiful, funny, intelligent and great she is(all of this is true, of course).  Except there are a few hurdles, twists and turns which make this story a hot mess.

In the past 3 weeks I've found myself involved in more drama than I would usually ever care for. Those who know me well know that I avoid conflict at most costs. I tend to look at things from a level headed perspective and when needed act as a mediator in conflict, rarely, if ever, being the cause.  When I found myself in the middle of a circle of drama, I started to wonder if life in California has already started to change me. Was I suddenly more prone to drama just by being in a new place?

I just recently turned 25 and this birthday was the first in a long time that I was cognizant about how different I felt. I'm no longer part of the 18-24 “young people” demographic bracket and its like a slap in the face.  I'm not the same rambunctious 21 year old I used to be. Now when 21 year olds try to hit on me at bars I feel like I need to ask for their guardian's signature before talking to them. My previous youthful sense of carelessness has turned into caring more about the future and the long-term. At 25 I feel like I have a stronger sense of clarity than I did before. I obviously have a lot to learn but feel like I generally know who I am and have an idea of where I want to end up.

This same mentality has translated into my dating life. I haven't gotten more careless, I've gotten more careful. I am afterall a beautiful, funny, intelligent and great person and I know what I deserve. But the aftermath of this incident has left me feeling like I was too careless and let my levelheadedness fall by the wayside.

I said in my first post I came to California because I wanted to be thrown into a sense of uncertainty. I wanted to have chaos in my life. Not having the comfort of leaning on people who I know and who know me well, I wanted the challenge of finding new friends and navigating a new terrain to find people who are equally as awesome as the friends I have made in life thus far. Well I wanted chaos and that is what I got. Ultimately I'm happy here. Shit happens and people make mistakes. Its certainly not the first time I've been hurt and it probably won't be the last. It's all part of the adventure and while it was a less than desirable situation which threw a wrench in my happy and peaceful life in California, I believe that it will only lead to more clarity about the type of people I want to surround myself with. I know I've found some of those people here on the west coast and I hope that we will continue to be friends.

I know eventually I'll look back on my first 2 and a ½ months(I can't believe it has only been this long) in California and laugh. But in the meantime—blame the bro and his carelessness. Blame the bro for thinking he can do what he wants and just talk his way out of it. His brotocol is brocially unacceptable.

I think its too soon to tell what the overall moral of the story is but when you hang around the Southbay, you can save yourself a lot of trouble by following one simple rule: Don't trust a bro.

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